Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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