You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
