How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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