I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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