Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
