I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
