Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
