Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
