11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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