you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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