i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
