i think i have herpe
just one?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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