Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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