god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
