I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
