I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize