If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
