A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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