Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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