Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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