I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
