i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
