Christians are straight up FREAKS
So drunk its hurt
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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