So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
