Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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