he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I could fuck to npr.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize