So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
