you would pick up someone in the library
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
