I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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