i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
