Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
