I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
