I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
