Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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