He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
