Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize