so that wasnt chicken after all
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
