i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
