I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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