based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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