new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have feelings that need drinking.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
