The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
