Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
