and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
