just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
