Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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