this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
