Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
