I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well you can't waste a boner
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You don't make any sense
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