My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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