Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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