how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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