I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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