He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
