is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
