I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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