Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
