My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
