my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
