They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
